[YOU JUST DRAGGED HER ASS IN PUBLIC UNAPOLOGETICALLY!!!!
SIR.
And now he's...well, he makes a good point, one she would normally agree with! However, being a performer means sacrificing some anonymity. Further? Well...
One thing at a time.]
I just didn't expect you to joke with me on a very professional post.
That's all.
[Even though she started it by taking him seriously and giving him shit for something he didn't actually say?!
Anyways.]
It's not the first time my name's been posted to the network, but I will admit it's the first time it's been made public that I perform at Nai'a.
Regardless, I don't believe there's any harm in it.
[ STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HEAT, TRISH!!
privately, he thinks that post wasn't any more professional than a flyer taped to a telephone pole, but it clearly matters to Trish, so he'll respect her wishes. Maybe he crossed a line. Their relationship is a strange gray area - not friendly, not professional, not anything he can really define outside of "two people who supported each other in a crisis" - but he remains cognizant of the fact that at the end of the day, he's a dangerous criminal who essentially kidnapped her. They're not exactly on equal footing. Familiarity should come from her end, not his. ]
I understand. Your personal business is your own. Next time, I'll leave you to it.
[No, he's right. It stopped being professional very quickly. Her bosses are flirting with one another on that post, never mind the tomfoolery from Giorno and Fugo! This sucks.
Speaking of, maybe he'll feel better about his standing with her when he sees her responses to the boys, which are equally pleased in that she is completely rancorous about it. Though she admittedly didn't expect teasing from Bruno on the network of all things. He's full of surprises, isn't he?]
Don't worry about it, Bucciarati.
They don't have formal security, but Maya is strong enough to stop monsters twice her size dead in their tracks. I've personally been witness to this.
Her husband is a mer like her, and she assures me he's not far behind her in what he's capable of. They're both present most of the time I'm around, so it should be all right. Unless you disagree?
[ yeah, and now she's talking about how one of her bosses has shit interior design taste where he can see it. He's sensing that she was probably just trying to save her pride more than her career by taking the conversation to his inbox...
Well, it doesn't matter. He respects her boundaries either way!! ]
No, I don't. Even if I did, I wouldn't stop you from going where you please. I'm not your bodyguard any more. I'm not your boss, either.
[ even if they are tackling "one last mission" together here... ]
Consider it a personal stake in your safety. But if you have confidence you'll be safe there, then so will I.
[Maya is very gracious to let people insult her husband on main, but Dandy is also known to be a divisive person anyway. Cheers, space cowboy.
Either way, she's waiting for Bruno to disapprove of the hosts also acting as bouncers, but he...doesn't? Maybe it's not uncommon in the world of gangsters to encounter a scenario like that, actually.]
I understand if it's strange to think of the word "safe" applied to anywhere in a place like this. But I do trust Maya. I think you'll find you can trust her too.
While we're here, is that all you're concerned about? It's like you said: as long as you recognize my autonomy, I don't mind hearing your thoughts. I'm not stupid. But I'm also not immune to blind spots.
[She is calmer now that they're in private, it seems.]
That's all. He doesn't have his Stand here, so he's not nearly as dangerous as he was. [ eat shit diavolo! ] You'll be fine as long as you pay attention. It seems like you are.
It looks you'll have backup close by most nights, anyway.
Anyways, Trish stumbles a bit on what can only be a reference to her father. It's a reasonable assumption that he returned after the summer, but she...would it be damning to mention her discussion with Doppio and confirm his presence?
Fuck.]
I genuinely think he's a nonentity. If he is around, he hasn't shown his face since summer. I doubt he has the gall to ever make himself known again.
You can bring it up to Maya if you want, but I haven't told her I'm in any particular danger because of what I've said above.
[Giorno did, though. Unknown to Trish and some time before she arrived. Maya knows pink men are sus.]
No, that's unwise. We shouldn't involve outsiders in this business.
[ he would disapprove if he knew, Giorno! But he doesn't. He only knows that it's hard to get disentangled with the mafia once you start getting involved in their affairs, and even if their affairs are currently on another planet, this affair in particular is very much present and personal. Bruno imagines telling Maya would only paint a target on her back. ]
He hates showing his face at all. Most likely, he's planning his next move while in hiding. He's not the type of person who would let you or Giorno walk free after what happened.
[ he's a hateful man with an outsized ego, and Trish knows that, too, but he's not about to say "you saw how he is" and remind her of the fact that her father is a piece of shit. ]
I'm not telling you this to scare you off. I want to hear you sing, as well. Just don't let your guard down.
[That's another part of why she appealed to Doppio. After what happened with Steve, it became very plain to see that affairs between monsters are just as messy, and with something like this?
It would be an awful cycle to get trapped in.]
However, I'm not going to pretend that I can anticipate if and when he will strike.
He may be a vengeful person, but if he's smart he'll know he won't get away unscathed ever again. What good would it do him to keep trying when even a Stand like King Crimson didn't guarantee him victory?
[His ego is enormous, certainly, and she's...of one mind with Bruno, admittedly. But her hope is Doppio can convince Diavolo to focus his energy elsewhere.]
[ Bucciarati, who has no idea she's in contact with the enemy, reads this as her being oddly combative about keeping an eye out for Diavolo, which is... strange. Then again, Trish has a tendency to be combative in general. Maybe she's still feeling huffy about getting teased on the network? ]
I don't remember telling you to anticipate his next move. I'm telling you that it's going to come eventually. I worked under him for eight years. You can make guesses about what he's feeling, but the rules are different in our world.
She bristles despite herself at his very measured statement, the words striking a nerve she'd forgotten she had.]
Right. Because you're gangsters.
[It reminds her of when Doppio insisted "she wouldn't get it" when it came to betraying Diavolo's trust, versus her betraying Giorno. She's not under his command or Bruno's. She's not beholden to the same code.
But she is sixteen, and she thinks it's garbage.]
So against all sense and logic, he will pursue us when there is nothing to gain for himself and so little ground to lose. Forgive me for being charitable enough to believe that even someone as insane as my father could think with any amount of clarity.
Especially the sort that could only be afforded to a man who has died and had the good fortune to come back from it.
[ she's very talkative over the internet, isn't she? ]
For your sake, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume he's the only one you're talking about.
[ because he'd be very pissed if she started wielding his own death against him? She's not the type to do that, he doesn't think, but that came close enough to make his hackles rise a little. He's kind, but not that kind. Moving on: ]
[Her WPM is insane, like, you don't even know, mister boomer.
It's not clear over text, but in her room, Trish is wringing one hand in the other after that message, watching her screen while half-turned away at the waist. As if the laptop might shoot flame if she isn't prepared.
She's...panicking, she realizes. Because it sounds like Bruno had made up his mind years ago, and if he sees Doppio or Diavolo, it'll be on sight, won't it? He'll make a liar out of her.
Just like she put her foot in her mouth. She hadn't meant...no, she didn't think about the implications. She didn't think at all, did she? Imagine insulting the man who saved you.]
I was referring to him and what happened this summer.
[The clarification feels paltry at best. But it is true. She could never accuse Bruno of being a fool. Never.
But she is one, and she can't hide that fact. It would be that much more stupid to pretend like she doesn't have an agenda either, then. There's a pause after her usual rapid-fire responses.
[ lucky for her that this is being communicated over text. If she actually spoke those words aloud to him, he'd be shouting back. As it is, though - he's helpless to really do anything other than curse out loud and bite his lip. ]
Are you insane?
[ Bruno has never met Doppio (to his knowledge.) But he's heard about him. The underboss - Diavolo's number one, his most feverishly loyal sycophant. It's a miracle that she could talk to this man without getting shot on the spot. She should know that. They spent days trying to prevent contact like this from happening at all!! Of course, she wasn't shot; she's alive, typing to him, and he's thankful for that, only barely more than he is angry that she would do something so foolish on her own. ]
[She is sorely tempted to shut her laptop and burrow under her blankets after sending that message.
There's no way his response was going to be pleased, but it still hits sorely when she reads it. She's done crazier things than this, hasn't she? It's not the first time he's asked her if she's lost her mind either, but that time she had a plan.
Here, she had the framework of a hopeful idea, and Bruno may well smash it under his fist. But for all her heart flutters anxiously in her chest, she can't be cowed. Not yet.]
No, I'm not. I didn't plan to meet him. It was an accident, but we talked, Bucciarati.
I was transformed, and easily three times his size. He couldn't have hurt me even if he wanted to.
[He was the one who begged her for mercy when she nabbed him by his scruff like a kitten.
Regardless, her responses are rapid-fire and slightly disjointed, ending on:]
[ maybe she's done crazier things - when her back was against the wall. This is her doing crazy things voluntarily. He wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't give her orders or try to control her. However, that doesn't mean he won't have opinions on what she does.
This is exactly what he was talking about before. Something a civilian, not a gangster, would do, believing these things can be resolved peacefully. Nothing is ever that clean. Frankly, he doesn't want it to be that clean. He doesn't want neutrality - he wants both of those men dead and in the ground after what they did to his team. To Trish. ]
You're naïve. A single well-placed bullet could put you down.
He's not wrong. He's not wrong in the slightest, but the blunt words press tight against her throat, and Trish wants to fight him on it as much as she wants to avoid saying anything more.
If all it takes is a bullet, then why is she still here?
She types that rejoinder and deletes it many times before deciding not to send it. She's already insulted the man, typing something like that now would be pitiful. No, she chooses to be completely transparent instead. That's the whole point of bringing this up, isn't it?]
A number of things. Rome, Gold Experience Requiem.
He talked to me extensively about what exactly Gold Experience Requiem was capable of, because it's apparently rendered my father completely terrified of Giorno.
I didn't know about that prior to our talk, but I've had perfectly civil conversations with Doppio before. I told him in spite of where we stand now, I didn't want to be enemies.
He agreed.
It's not out of fondness. We made it clear to one another on that front. But he agreed all the same.
However, I didn't tell him about you. I didn't tell him I hadn't gotten anyone's agreement. I didn't expect to ever have it, honestly. What I promised him is that if any of you threaten them with no preamble, and I'm present for it...
I will oppose you. Physically, if I have to.
In return, he should see to it that my father is steered away from us so the above doesn't happen.
[Hey, he asked her if she was insane before. This? This is probably worse.]
Either he speaks to her now, or in a paltry amount of minutes. She would like more time, or to take it back until she had a better way to broach this to him, but what's done is done.
The walk to the second hill is quick despite the fluttering of her heart, because she doesn't want to be seen by either of the boys, not now. Although she has a feeling Bruno is going to tell them what she's done, regardless of her wishes. How could he not?
The fur on her feet renders her steps nearly silent, and she doesn't knock on Bruno's door, hyperaware of making any noise at all. Rather, she turns the knob carefully, before pushing the door open and slipping in like a pink and white ghost, standing at the entrance to his room as the door softly clicks shut behind her.
She doesn't say anything, she doesn't look at him, and she doesn't move from there. She waits for him to speak.]
[ when she arrives, he's obviously waiting for her - sitting with his chair turned around from his desk, one leg crossed over the other. The laptop is still open behind him. Normally, he'd apologize for the lack of other chairs in the room - unsurprisingly, his living space is quite sparse - but right now, it doesn't really matter to him if she stands. Because, suddenly, this conversation has become gang business.
Here he was, interested in her performance, and being (in his opinion) sensibly cautious about her public appearances. The fact that she blurted all of this out to him is either an indication that it's been weighing on her or that she really isn't cut out for these kinds of clandestine dealings. Knowing what she said and did, Bruno's quite convinced it's a combination of both. ]
Come here.
[ he beckons her away from the door and towards him with one furry hand. His voice is cool, steely. The look in his eyes is less so. Bucciarati is angry at her. Maybe worse than that, he's feeling disappointed - betrayed, even. Never would he have expected that any one of them would turn and position themselves against the group - not even Fugo. Certainly not Trish. He's sure she doesn't see it that way. ]
I remember you telling me clearly that you're not a gangster. Maybe you could explain to me why you've decided to make decisions on our behalf, then.
[ he tilts his head at her, eyes narrowing. ]
Or maybe your ultimate intention was to switch sides, considering you apparently have no qualms taking Doppio's if we disagreed with your actions. Which one is it, Trish? [ long claws tap against the arm of his chair. ] Do you think that the Boss and his dog will just roll over for you? Do you think that we will? I'll give you one chance to explain yourself. Keep it short. I'm not interested in a speech about keeping the peace from a civilian.
[She panicked. She panicked and ruined it. But she can't imagine this working under the table. If he looks this pissed now, she can only imagine what would have happened if the unthinkable occurred, and she did stand between him and the enemy without preamble.
The fallout of this alone is going to physically ache.
But half of this was predicated on cooperation, and the hope she would have it, and she was aware on some level that communication needed to happen. But she also knows...she would have been shot down and blocked from trying if she did bring it up beforehand, which only speaks to how successful this wasn't going to be, but she persisted.
Trish approaches stiffly, hands held clenched at her sides, fingers tightening when she chances a glance and catches the stormy look in Bruno's blue eyes.
She would keep her gaze elsewhere, but that accusation has her lifting her chin, taking one step forward – and then the words die on her tongue as he continues, flinching under each and every question.
What...does she say? She's not prepared for this, her thoughts scattering and fleeing to the edges of her mind as if they can escape this. Fleeing without her, and leaving her blank.]
I...
[One chance, he says. And then what?
She thought about consequences, in that they would certainly exist. Betrayal comes to mind. Loss of trust. Forgiveness withheld. Why should she need that from strangers like him?
Even if they're from the same year, the same Italy....they're from entirely different worlds. She's always going to be the odd one out, even if she tries to be close to these boys. Maybe that's why trying is scary. Maybe that's why it hurts.
Maybe...she should keep her distance, even if that hurts too.]
I still stand by that. I'm no gangster. So I'm...I'm on no one's side but my own.
[Her gaze lists to somewhere past his shoulder, her fangs showing in bared teeth.]
But you're right. I don't have any power over a single one of you. All I have is my word, and I gave it to Doppio because he...wanted the same thing. That's all.
[Her word, which means nothing without support. Doppio...can't be trusted, not implicitly, but he listened to her, which is far more than she expected. It was...validating.
This now? This is terrifying. Shameful. What else can she say but the truth?]
[ She's scared and ashamed. It's not something he feels good about. She's not an enemy; she's not even one of his men, not really. Still, there's a somber satisfaction in seeing her actually listen to his words. He'd been joking about it earlier, her taking him seriously, but there was a kernel of truth buried inside, too. That, and the fact that she falls outside of those prior two categories - opponent or soldato - shields her from the worst of his ire. ]
Do you really think you can be a neutral party when your life is what's at stake? [ Bruno's claws stop; he curls his hand into a fist, or the best approximation of one he can manage now. Still, his voice remains even, flat and cold like steel. ] I want you to think about this logically, Trish. You promise to keep us from fighting by putting yourself in the middle. Suppose that comes to pass - what do you think would happen? You'd be singled out, having turned against us. You lose your allies. That's a boon to the Boss. Or maybe they break the agreement first - then they'll be acting on the same intentions they've always had, except you've let down your guard and encouraged us all to do the same. That's beneficial for him, too. The best case scenario for you is that nothing happens at all. You have nothing to gain from this. Did you realize that?
[ He's sure she didn't. It's not like him to talk so much; Bucciarati is a man of efficiency, favoring concise replies and practical solutions. But he knows - he knows, like both of them said, that she's not one of them. He has to explain the way these deals work, in his world. In Bruno's world, the world he considers reality, deals are not mutual agreements based on trust and good faith. They're careful gambles. This is a game you have to play to win. If you don't play the game well, you and your friends and family die. He knows this intimately.
Trish is a good person; she wants to see the best in Doppio. She probably wants to see the best in Bucciarati and his gang, too. That's why he has to protect her. He stares straight at her, eyes piercing, and after a short pause, he continues. ]
It's noble of you to want peace. In a better world, it would be as simple as you're imagining it to be.
[ but this is not that world. This is the world where Diavolo killed him, and killed Abbacchio, and killed Narancia - where he tried to kill Trish, even here, after losing pathetically to a fifteen-year-old boy. The world Bruno knows, the one where the Boss lied to him for years, about things as big as the drug trade to things as small as why he wanted his daughter. Trish sees another person in Doppio, but all Bruno can see is a snake, lying in wait, speaking sweet words with a forked tongue. ]
It's not that simple. [ a beat. ] Maybe you're content to walk away and leave everything that happened behind. I'm not so forgiving.
[How can she not hang onto his every word? This is a very deep, very thorough look into a world she's brushed elbows with, feeling the knife's edge at her throat that entire week they were together. The fact she made it out of the other side is still something she tries to digest on very quiet nights, when she wakes up after nightmares where people die, and die, and die. Blood painting the walls and oozing onto coliseum grounds and there's no reason she should be alive to be haunted by any of this, none at all. If not for Bruno...
She has distant dreams about watching the position indicator as their elevator climbs to the roof at San Giorgio Maggiore's, but they never reach the top. She always wakes up before they do.
Her eyes lift incrementally as he explains, Trish watching him sidelong, her hands clenching and unclenching restlessly.
And then her eyes widen ever so slightly, and where there's shame and fear and cloying guilt, there's anger too. Mostly at herself. Always at herself. But she finally lifts her head so she can shake it, slowly.]
Don't...don't put words in my mouth.
[Abruptly, she takes two steps forward.
But she's still not too close to him, so for all its aggression, the motion has no bite. Neither do her words, which spill out quickly, haphazardly.]
I don't forgive them for any of it! I hate them. I hate them. What I want isn't peace, it's...
[It's...]
...I don't have anything to offer but myself, Bucciarati. You know that. If that's not enough to stop anyone from getting hurt, then what good am I?
[She says "anyone", but she brushes dangerously close to something she can't say aloud.
Because she cares about them all, Bruno and Giorno and Fugo – much more than she cares about Doppio and Diavolo existing here. And the stakes are different now. Doppio didn't fret about dying itself, but losing his memories. If things come to blows and people die, and lose something that integral, it's worse than simply dying.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
<Zigazigah>
We're ruining Maya's post.
I'm not nervous and I'm not putting a toaster in my professional bathtub, end of story.
<bucciarati>
You're more flustered over this than I would have thought. I've seen you being much more inflamattory elsewhere.
[ yes, he spelled that wrong. do not point this out to him, perhaps... ]
In any case, nothing's been "ruined." The only thing to be concerned about is your full name and location being publicly posted.
<Zigazigah>
SIR.
And now he's...well, he makes a good point, one she would normally agree with! However, being a performer means sacrificing some anonymity. Further? Well...
One thing at a time.]
I just didn't expect you to joke with me on a very professional post.
That's all.
[Even though she started it by taking him seriously and giving him shit for something he didn't actually say?!
Anyways.]
It's not the first time my name's been posted to the network, but I will admit it's the first time it's been made public that I perform at Nai'a.
Regardless, I don't believe there's any harm in it.
<bucciarati>
privately, he thinks that post wasn't any more professional than a flyer taped to a telephone pole, but it clearly matters to Trish, so he'll respect her wishes. Maybe he crossed a line. Their relationship is a strange gray area - not friendly, not professional, not anything he can really define outside of "two people who supported each other in a crisis" - but he remains cognizant of the fact that at the end of the day, he's a dangerous criminal who essentially kidnapped her. They're not exactly on equal footing. Familiarity should come from her end, not his. ]
I understand. Your personal business is your own. Next time, I'll leave you to it.
Do they have security at this club?
<Zigazigah>
Speaking of, maybe he'll feel better about his standing with her when he sees her responses to the boys, which are equally pleased in that she is completely rancorous about it. Though she admittedly didn't expect teasing from Bruno on the network of all things. He's full of surprises, isn't he?]
Don't worry about it, Bucciarati.
They don't have formal security, but Maya is strong enough to stop monsters twice her size dead in their tracks. I've personally been witness to this.
Her husband is a mer like her, and she assures me he's not far behind her in what he's capable of. They're both present most of the time I'm around, so it should be all right. Unless you disagree?
<bucciarati>
Well, it doesn't matter. He respects her boundaries either way!! ]
No, I don't. Even if I did, I wouldn't stop you from going where you please. I'm not your bodyguard any more. I'm not your boss, either.
[ even if they are tackling "one last mission" together here... ]
Consider it a personal stake in your safety. But if you have confidence you'll be safe there, then so will I.
<Zigazigah>
Either way, she's waiting for Bruno to disapprove of the hosts also acting as bouncers, but he...doesn't? Maybe it's not uncommon in the world of gangsters to encounter a scenario like that, actually.]
I understand if it's strange to think of the word "safe" applied to anywhere in a place like this. But I do trust Maya. I think you'll find you can trust her too.
While we're here, is that all you're concerned about? It's like you said: as long as you recognize my autonomy, I don't mind hearing your thoughts. I'm not stupid. But I'm also not immune to blind spots.
[She is calmer now that they're in private, it seems.]
<bucciarati>
That's all. He doesn't have his Stand here, so he's not nearly as dangerous as he was. [ eat shit diavolo! ] You'll be fine as long as you pay attention. It seems like you are.
It looks you'll have backup close by most nights, anyway.
<Zigazigah>
Anyways, Trish stumbles a bit on what can only be a reference to her father. It's a reasonable assumption that he returned after the summer, but she...would it be damning to mention her discussion with Doppio and confirm his presence?
Fuck.]
I genuinely think he's a nonentity. If he is around, he hasn't shown his face since summer. I doubt he has the gall to ever make himself known again.
You can bring it up to Maya if you want, but I haven't told her I'm in any particular danger because of what I've said above.
[Giorno did, though. Unknown to Trish and some time before she arrived. Maya knows pink men are sus.]
<bucciarati>
[ he would disapprove if he knew, Giorno! But he doesn't. He only knows that it's hard to get disentangled with the mafia once you start getting involved in their affairs, and even if their affairs are currently on another planet, this affair in particular is very much present and personal. Bruno imagines telling Maya would only paint a target on her back. ]
He hates showing his face at all. Most likely, he's planning his next move while in hiding. He's not the type of person who would let you or Giorno walk free after what happened.
[ he's a hateful man with an outsized ego, and Trish knows that, too, but he's not about to say "you saw how he is" and remind her of the fact that her father is a piece of shit. ]
I'm not telling you this to scare you off. I want to hear you sing, as well. Just don't let your guard down.
<Zigazigah>
[That's another part of why she appealed to Doppio. After what happened with Steve, it became very plain to see that affairs between monsters are just as messy, and with something like this?
It would be an awful cycle to get trapped in.]
However, I'm not going to pretend that I can anticipate if and when he will strike.
He may be a vengeful person, but if he's smart he'll know he won't get away unscathed ever again. What good would it do him to keep trying when even a Stand like King Crimson didn't guarantee him victory?
[His ego is enormous, certainly, and she's...of one mind with Bruno, admittedly. But her hope is Doppio can convince Diavolo to focus his energy elsewhere.]
I'm not scared either. Especially not of him.
<bucciarati>
I don't remember telling you to anticipate his next move. I'm telling you that it's going to come eventually. I worked under him for eight years. You can make guesses about what he's feeling, but the rules are different in our world.
<Zigazigah>
She bristles despite herself at his very measured statement, the words striking a nerve she'd forgotten she had.]
Right. Because you're gangsters.
[It reminds her of when Doppio insisted "she wouldn't get it" when it came to betraying Diavolo's trust, versus her betraying Giorno. She's not under his command or Bruno's. She's not beholden to the same code.
But she is sixteen, and she thinks it's garbage.]
So against all sense and logic, he will pursue us when there is nothing to gain for himself and so little ground to lose. Forgive me for being charitable enough to believe that even someone as insane as my father could think with any amount of clarity.
Especially the sort that could only be afforded to a man who has died and had the good fortune to come back from it.
<bucciarati>
For your sake, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume he's the only one you're talking about.
[ because he'd be very pissed if she started wielding his own death against him? She's not the type to do that, he doesn't think, but that came close enough to make his hackles rise a little. He's kind, but not that kind. Moving on: ]
What are you trying to get at, Trish?
<Zigazigah>
It's not clear over text, but in her room, Trish is wringing one hand in the other after that message, watching her screen while half-turned away at the waist. As if the laptop might shoot flame if she isn't prepared.
She's...panicking, she realizes. Because it sounds like Bruno had made up his mind years ago, and if he sees Doppio or Diavolo, it'll be on sight, won't it? He'll make a liar out of her.
Just like she put her foot in her mouth. She hadn't meant...no, she didn't think about the implications. She didn't think at all, did she? Imagine insulting the man who saved you.]
I was referring to him and what happened this summer.
[The clarification feels paltry at best. But it is true. She could never accuse Bruno of being a fool. Never.
But she is one, and she can't hide that fact. It would be that much more stupid to pretend like she doesn't have an agenda either, then. There's a pause after her usual rapid-fire responses.
Then she sends the following, and lets it hang.]
A few weeks ago, I spoke to Doppio in person.
<bucciarati>
Are you insane?
[ Bruno has never met Doppio (to his knowledge.) But he's heard about him. The underboss - Diavolo's number one, his most feverishly loyal sycophant. It's a miracle that she could talk to this man without getting shot on the spot. She should know that. They spent days trying to prevent contact like this from happening at all!! Of course, she wasn't shot; she's alive, typing to him, and he's thankful for that, only barely more than he is angry that she would do something so foolish on her own. ]
<Zigazigah>
There's no way his response was going to be pleased, but it still hits sorely when she reads it. She's done crazier things than this, hasn't she? It's not the first time he's asked her if she's lost her mind either, but that time she had a plan.
Here, she had the framework of a hopeful idea, and Bruno may well smash it under his fist. But for all her heart flutters anxiously in her chest, she can't be cowed. Not yet.]
No, I'm not. I didn't plan to meet him. It was an accident, but we talked, Bucciarati.
I was transformed, and easily three times his size. He couldn't have hurt me even if he wanted to.
[He was the one who begged her for mercy when she nabbed him by his scruff like a kitten.
Regardless, her responses are rapid-fire and slightly disjointed, ending on:]
Things aren't the same here.
<bucciarati>
This is exactly what he was talking about before. Something a civilian, not a gangster, would do, believing these things can be resolved peacefully. Nothing is ever that clean. Frankly, he doesn't want it to be that clean. He doesn't want neutrality - he wants both of those men dead and in the ground after what they did to his team. To Trish. ]
You're naïve. A single well-placed bullet could put you down.
Tell me what you talked about.
<Zigazigah>
You're naïve.
You're naïve.
He's not wrong. He's not wrong in the slightest, but the blunt words press tight against her throat, and Trish wants to fight him on it as much as she wants to avoid saying anything more.
If all it takes is a bullet, then why is she still here?
She types that rejoinder and deletes it many times before deciding not to send it. She's already insulted the man, typing something like that now would be pitiful. No, she chooses to be completely transparent instead. That's the whole point of bringing this up, isn't it?]
A number of things. Rome, Gold Experience Requiem.
He talked to me extensively about what exactly Gold Experience Requiem was capable of, because it's apparently rendered my father completely terrified of Giorno.
I didn't know about that prior to our talk, but I've had perfectly civil conversations with Doppio before. I told him in spite of where we stand now, I didn't want to be enemies.
He agreed.
It's not out of fondness. We made it clear to one another on that front. But he agreed all the same.
However, I didn't tell him about you. I didn't tell him I hadn't gotten anyone's agreement. I didn't expect to ever have it, honestly. What I promised him is that if any of you threaten them with no preamble, and I'm present for it...
I will oppose you. Physically, if I have to.
In return, he should see to it that my father is steered away from us so the above doesn't happen.
[Hey, he asked her if she was insane before. This? This is probably worse.]
<bucciarati>
We're talking about this in person. I'm in my room. If I don't see you in the next fifteen minutes, then I'll go to you.
--> [action]
Either he speaks to her now, or in a paltry amount of minutes. She would like more time, or to take it back until she had a better way to broach this to him, but what's done is done.
The walk to the second hill is quick despite the fluttering of her heart, because she doesn't want to be seen by either of the boys, not now. Although she has a feeling Bruno is going to tell them what she's done, regardless of her wishes. How could he not?
The fur on her feet renders her steps nearly silent, and she doesn't knock on Bruno's door, hyperaware of making any noise at all. Rather, she turns the knob carefully, before pushing the door open and slipping in like a pink and white ghost, standing at the entrance to his room as the door softly clicks shut behind her.
She doesn't say anything, she doesn't look at him, and she doesn't move from there. She waits for him to speak.]
ooh girl
Here he was, interested in her performance, and being (in his opinion) sensibly cautious about her public appearances. The fact that she blurted all of this out to him is either an indication that it's been weighing on her or that she really isn't cut out for these kinds of clandestine dealings. Knowing what she said and did, Bruno's quite convinced it's a combination of both. ]
Come here.
[ he beckons her away from the door and towards him with one furry hand. His voice is cool, steely. The look in his eyes is less so. Bucciarati is angry at her. Maybe worse than that, he's feeling disappointed - betrayed, even. Never would he have expected that any one of them would turn and position themselves against the group - not even Fugo. Certainly not Trish. He's sure she doesn't see it that way. ]
I remember you telling me clearly that you're not a gangster. Maybe you could explain to me why you've decided to make decisions on our behalf, then.
[ he tilts his head at her, eyes narrowing. ]
Or maybe your ultimate intention was to switch sides, considering you apparently have no qualms taking Doppio's if we disagreed with your actions. Which one is it, Trish? [ long claws tap against the arm of his chair. ] Do you think that the Boss and his dog will just roll over for you? Do you think that we will? I'll give you one chance to explain yourself. Keep it short. I'm not interested in a speech about keeping the peace from a civilian.
UGH im in pain, thank you
The fallout of this alone is going to physically ache.
But half of this was predicated on cooperation, and the hope she would have it, and she was aware on some level that communication needed to happen. But she also knows...she would have been shot down and blocked from trying if she did bring it up beforehand, which only speaks to how successful this wasn't going to be, but she persisted.
Trish approaches stiffly, hands held clenched at her sides, fingers tightening when she chances a glance and catches the stormy look in Bruno's blue eyes.
She would keep her gaze elsewhere, but that accusation has her lifting her chin, taking one step forward – and then the words die on her tongue as he continues, flinching under each and every question.
What...does she say? She's not prepared for this, her thoughts scattering and fleeing to the edges of her mind as if they can escape this. Fleeing without her, and leaving her blank.]
I...
[One chance, he says. And then what?
She thought about consequences, in that they would certainly exist. Betrayal comes to mind. Loss of trust. Forgiveness withheld. Why should she need that from strangers like him?
Even if they're from the same year, the same Italy....they're from entirely different worlds. She's always going to be the odd one out, even if she tries to be close to these boys. Maybe that's why trying is scary. Maybe that's why it hurts.
Maybe...she should keep her distance, even if that hurts too.]
I still stand by that. I'm no gangster. So I'm...I'm on no one's side but my own.
[Her gaze lists to somewhere past his shoulder, her fangs showing in bared teeth.]
But you're right. I don't have any power over a single one of you. All I have is my word, and I gave it to Doppio because he...wanted the same thing. That's all.
[Her word, which means nothing without support. Doppio...can't be trusted, not implicitly, but he listened to her, which is far more than she expected. It was...validating.
This now? This is terrifying. Shameful. What else can she say but the truth?]
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Do you really think you can be a neutral party when your life is what's at stake? [ Bruno's claws stop; he curls his hand into a fist, or the best approximation of one he can manage now. Still, his voice remains even, flat and cold like steel. ] I want you to think about this logically, Trish. You promise to keep us from fighting by putting yourself in the middle. Suppose that comes to pass - what do you think would happen? You'd be singled out, having turned against us. You lose your allies. That's a boon to the Boss. Or maybe they break the agreement first - then they'll be acting on the same intentions they've always had, except you've let down your guard and encouraged us all to do the same. That's beneficial for him, too. The best case scenario for you is that nothing happens at all. You have nothing to gain from this. Did you realize that?
[ He's sure she didn't. It's not like him to talk so much; Bucciarati is a man of efficiency, favoring concise replies and practical solutions. But he knows - he knows, like both of them said, that she's not one of them. He has to explain the way these deals work, in his world. In Bruno's world, the world he considers reality, deals are not mutual agreements based on trust and good faith. They're careful gambles. This is a game you have to play to win. If you don't play the game well, you and your friends and family die. He knows this intimately.
Trish is a good person; she wants to see the best in Doppio. She probably wants to see the best in Bucciarati and his gang, too. That's why he has to protect her. He stares straight at her, eyes piercing, and after a short pause, he continues. ]
It's noble of you to want peace. In a better world, it would be as simple as you're imagining it to be.
[ but this is not that world. This is the world where Diavolo killed him, and killed Abbacchio, and killed Narancia - where he tried to kill Trish, even here, after losing pathetically to a fifteen-year-old boy. The world Bruno knows, the one where the Boss lied to him for years, about things as big as the drug trade to things as small as why he wanted his daughter. Trish sees another person in Doppio, but all Bruno can see is a snake, lying in wait, speaking sweet words with a forked tongue. ]
It's not that simple. [ a beat. ] Maybe you're content to walk away and leave everything that happened behind. I'm not so forgiving.
[ Diavolo doesn't deserve peace. ]
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She has distant dreams about watching the position indicator as their elevator climbs to the roof at San Giorgio Maggiore's, but they never reach the top. She always wakes up before they do.
Her eyes lift incrementally as he explains, Trish watching him sidelong, her hands clenching and unclenching restlessly.
And then her eyes widen ever so slightly, and where there's shame and fear and cloying guilt, there's anger too. Mostly at herself. Always at herself. But she finally lifts her head so she can shake it, slowly.]
Don't...don't put words in my mouth.
[Abruptly, she takes two steps forward.
But she's still not too close to him, so for all its aggression, the motion has no bite. Neither do her words, which spill out quickly, haphazardly.]
I don't forgive them for any of it! I hate them. I hate them. What I want isn't peace, it's...
[It's...]
...I don't have anything to offer but myself, Bucciarati. You know that. If that's not enough to stop anyone from getting hurt, then what good am I?
[She says "anyone", but she brushes dangerously close to something she can't say aloud.
Because she cares about them all, Bruno and Giorno and Fugo – much more than she cares about Doppio and Diavolo existing here. And the stakes are different now. Doppio didn't fret about dying itself, but losing his memories. If things come to blows and people die, and lose something that integral, it's worse than simply dying.
It's not worth it.]
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getting the full gamut of bruno icons from this thread
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